Chennai Mumbai and a Love Story

Somewhere in Chennai:

I was waiting outside the operation theater. I was waiting for my first child to open his eyes and see the world outside. The time ticked away like anything and my tension was rising and at last the nurse came out with a small parcel like thing in her hand, wrapped around with a towel.

“Writer sir, it’s a girl. As you wished!” Nurse said and gave me the little princess to me. She had small nose, closed eyes, two thin lines which actually meant lips and a cry just like her mom!

“Beautiful,” I said.

“Do you have a name for her?”

“Suzanne!”

Six years before: Again somewhere in Chennai:

“Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddddddddddddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” Vignesh alias Vicky came screaming to my home.

“What the…..” I said turning towards her.

“Great results, your first book is doing great. Look at this Times of India review.” Vicky said and I read the review. Its headline read: IF YOU WANT TO HAVE FUN WHILE READING A BOOK, CHOOSE SEBA’S AFFAIRS + LOVE = SCREWED LIFE. SEXY BOOK.

I was happy. Well ya, I am Sebastain Richard, now an official writer. My first book AFFAIRS + LOVE = SCREWED LIFE just did great in its first week. Vicky is my close friend. I have written the story based on him. The hero is in love with a girl then accidently met an aunty (sexy of course) and an affair starts there. It’s a story about a boy finding hard to manage both love life and an affair life. I am a proud writer now. But my proud feeling was damaged when I received an email. It read

Dear wanna-be-cool-writer,

Let me tell you one simple thing. There is lot other ways of making a book sell other than writing about sex. A ‘B’ grade book would not make you famous but surely make you INFAMOUS someday. As a reader, I plead either you stop writing these kind of craps or please learn to tell good stories.

With Love,

Pia

Mumbai

I was thrown back by this mail. All these days my friends and publisher said that book is doing well but this girl just insulted me. I hated her attitude. She could have said this in better way but this was something rude. I was not going to leave this like that. I sent her a reply:

Dear so-much-of-stupid-attitude girl,

As a writer I don’t want to insult my readers but still your attitude deserves an insult. It’s my story, my hard work and my small dream. I am not forcing “readers like you” to read my stories but I would value your “horrible” comments and see to it that I entertain people with my stories.

With love

Seba,

Then there were exchange of so much of email were we insulted each other. And at one point of time I received a parcel from her. it was a book written by her. THE WOMAN AND MEN by PIA DESAI, as the name says the book was full of feminism. Only after reading that I knew why she hated my story. She hated it because I have written some things which have more of sex with an old lady and a young boy, that’s why she hated it. After finishing her book, I sent her a mail:

Dear Boring writer,

I received your book. You know what I would prefer French- German Dictionary over your stupid book. But anyways thanks for sending it. It’s better than my Deep Sleep App.

With hate

Seba!

I told all this to Vicky. After hearing all this he said, “Dude, you don’t worry that stupid girl doesn’t know your book’s value. You are a class writer bro! Leave this problem to me. I would solve it.”  

Her emails were not coming after that. I was happy and I was thinking about writing another story. Vicky and I were sitting at my home and were disusing something when suddenly someone knocked on the door. I went and opened it. There was a man standing, he was smart and was wearing a Ray Ban glass.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Can you let me inside, fucker?” he said.

“Excuse me?” I said and then Vicky also came.

“I am Joyson Benjamin,” the man said.

“Oh, which company sales man are you? HARPIK?” Vicky asked and Joyson slapped him and said, “Get inside,” we all were inside and then Joyson did the talking.

“Who among you is the writer bastard?” he asked and Vicky pointed me.

“So you send abusing messages to my friend huh?” Joy asked.

“What?” it was Pia, the writer’s friend but I don’t recall sending her any abusing mails. I looked at Vicky and remembered his statement “Leave this problem to me. I would solve it.”

“See there is some problem, we can talk,” I said but Joy was not ready to listen. I could easily beat up this guy but I didn’t want to fight,

“No talking, only beating.” He said but then he received a call. “I’ll be right back. You two stand here.” He said and went out with the phone.

“What the hell did you do?” I asked Vicky.

“I just sent her a mail with little abusing words…and some common statements referring her..” he said and I said, “Stop… look, I am going to fight you do one thing. Take his mobile and find that girl’s phone number okay?” I had a plan in my mind. Joyson came back and said, “READY?” and kept his watch and mobile on the table. I signaled Vicky. We both engaged in a fight. We rolled on the floor, I slapped him, kicked him and when he stared bleeding from his nose the fight stopped.

“You fucker, I will come tomorrow. Wait and see what happens.” Joyson said and went out wiping his nose.

Vicky came near and showed me a piece of paper.

MONI: 8906754431

JAANU. R: 9962995129

SHONA:  9566180012

“Three numbers?”  I asked him.

“I couldn’t find her number, so I took these numbers which were doubtful.” Vicky said. I buttoned my shirt and looked at the number. “Hmmm… Soni is one girl name so that is not her number. Jaanu. R clearly says it’s a name because it has initial R so left is Shona, are you sure there is no other name like Pia,” I asked Vicky.

“Nah.. Damn sure.”

“Hmm.. I have read in many book, the hero calls his lover Shona only, so lets try this number!” I said and dialed Shona. After so many ring a girl’s voice said, “Hello!”

“Ah… is this Pia,” I asked.

“Yes, may I know whose this?” Yup, I guessed it right,

“What the fuck you think about yourself?” I asked.

“Excuse me…” she said.

“What excuse me… @#@###^$%%^%$&%^%%T@!#$^$&$^@@@#!#$@!^$#%@@#!#@@@%#%%@%@%@##@#@#!@#%^%*@#***$^#$@@@%#^&$&” I used all kind of bad words! I was irritated by her attitude and her behavior she sent her friend so that he can beat us huh?

“OH MY GOD, ***&$&^%$#%@#%@%@^%&^#^#$^##%#^##@W^#^#^&*%&%%^#%#%@#^&&*%^@@%^*” Well she also knew bad words, all were in Hindi. I gave the phone to Vicky, “Vicky she wants to talk to you!” I said.

“ME?” he asked and I nodded. He took the phone and heard the words which flowed from the other side. He was listening everything with one simple expression. After few minutes he took the phone, pressed the end call button and said, “She is a nice girl. Very knowledgeable.. Thanks to you I learnt so many bad words!”

“She has one bloody attitude!” I said.

Later we were out with friends and that was when she called me again.

“Hullo,” I said,

“I know this is Sebastian Richard the B grade book writer.” She said.

“Smart girl,” I said.

“What do you think of yourself, you are one big writer huh?” she was irritated of course. I could sense a bad tone in her voice.

“Well, I consider myself better than you.” I said. I usually never talk like this but she deserved it.

“Ah… you? Did you read my book?” she asked.

“Please I read it. I would choose Cookery book over that.” I said.

“I have sent you one link. Check that too..” she said.

“Hmm.. “ I was not interested though. Her line was dead. This was our first full pledged talk.

I went home late night. I was lying on my bed and suddenly I got this thing in my head, I mean about her link. I opened my mail and saw one link. I clicked that link and to my surprise I saw one thing. She sent her publisher’s link which said that Pia’s book was sold more than 1 million copies across the world and she was congratulated by the president of India also. I tried to find her photo but didn’t get anything. I searched in Google, no result was there. I read in Wikipedia about her. It said Pia hates posing for photos. Hence it’s rare to find her photo,” Sheesh… I never knew that! I was ashamed now. Ashamed of insulting a great writer. I owe her an apology. I took my phone to call her but then I received her call.

“Hello,” my voice was now not filled with that attitude.

“Saw that?”

“Yes and I am…”

“I have an open challenge for you,” she said. I was wondering what that was but then she said, “You write another story and I will write another one. Let’s see whose book does well. What say?”

It was a simple challenge but very hard as well. I had nothing to say. My ego said to accept that but my heart said to apology. “I will think and say!” I said and hung up. Now another problem started. The fight of Angel and Devil.

Angel: “Seba you owe her an apology.”

Devil: “No dude, she deserves that kind of Insult,”

Angel: “Please don’t listen to that devil; he will pull you in more troubles.”

Devil: “Ha.. Ha.. Cowards listen to Angels,”

Angel: she is a girl and you shouldn’t have behaved properly with a girl.

Devil: Shut the..Listen dude, accept the challenge and write her a great story but don’t say sorry to her.

Angel: You are a nice person Seba, tell her how you feel.”

Devil: No dude, call her say some more bad words and accept the challenge.

Angel: please, don’t believe this devil, he would screw your life my friend.

Devil: Seba, just go for it.

Angel: Hey Devil, you fucker, you are misleading him… you red-ass-pointed--tailed monster.

Devil: Seba, go for it yaar, have fun and you, pigeon stop it.

Angel: I am goanna kill you mother f******… just because I have wings doesn’t mean that I am a pigeon.

Devil: Pigeon… pigeon…

And these people fought leaving me in confusion. I took the phone and called her.

“So?” she said.

“Accepted, I will write a love story,” I said.

“Great, lets see who wins.” She said.

“Where you stay, I mean which part of India?” I asked.

“Mumbai,” she said. I opened Yatra.com and booked two flight tickets, one for me and one for Vicky!

Mumbai:

“Why should I come with you?” Vicky asked. We were sitting in the taxi and I was watching the Mumbai city.

“You love north Indian girls’ right?” I asked.

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me why you are here,” he asked.

“I have a challenge with Pia, Challenge of writing a great love story and whose book does well in market win the challenge.” I said.

“Oh, so are you going to meet her?” he asked.

“Yes, she will come around 10 at Café coffee day near some MotiLal street.”

We were in MotiLal Street’s Café. As usual it was filled with couples sipping their cold coffee as little as they could. I saw a girl waving hand at us. I went near her and I could feel someone hitting on my head. She was beautiful; her eyes were blue, white skin and a perfect structure. She stood up and starched her hand to us.

“Hi.. I am Pia.” She said and I was like a numb dead body looking at her with an open mouth.

“Dude, she wants a hand shake,” Vicky whispered.

“Oh… hi..  I am Seba.. I mean Richard Sebastian… che.. I mean Sebastian Rich.. Richard..” I was blabbering, of course what else you expect.

“Sit,” she ordered. She talked so much after that with her same attitude but I was just listening to her and was ready to hear anything from her.

“So... Ready for challenge?” she asked.

“Yes,”

“Great. So write it.” She said and I nodded.

“Bye… meet you at your book release.” She said and went. I was watching her crossing the road and catching a taxi.

“Dude..Dude..” Vicky was shaking me.

“YEEEESSSSSS…” I said.

“Don’t say you fell in Love with her.” He said.

“You are right, she is awesome.”

“NO…” Vicky said.

I was sitting in my apartment, actually my cousin’s. I was sitting with my laptop thinking of what story to write. I had so many ideas before seeing her but now I have only her face in my mind. I thought of writing my own story, my life and my first love. I opened Word and typed my story’s title, CHENNAI, MUMBAI AND A LOVE STORY.

It took me three and half months to complete the story. I had an awesome ending where she and I are in love and we are happily married. It was published a month after. Response was good. She also wrote a Love story called Sound of Broken Heart. Its response was immense. It was doing tremendously good. I almost lost the challenge.

She called me, “Hello,” I said.

“Come to place immediately, fucker!” she said and hung up. Little later I received a message from her. It had her address and time to meet her. I was unaware of why she called me. She had anger in her tone. I went to her apartment and pressed the calling bell. She came and let me inside.

“What is this?” she asked showing me my book.

“Ah…” I got why she was angry.

“Tell me moron,” She was angry, her nose turned red.

“My story,” I said looking down.

“You used our story that too with a stupid ending of us getting into relationship?” she asked I was silent.

“JOY,” she called and Joyson came out.

“You know this guy right?” she asked. I nodded.

“I love him. We are in relationship from last three years.” She said.

I walked to my place. I was crying sometimes, wiping my tears. The people on the road looked at me, some laughed but they don’t know how it feels when you know that the girl whom you love so much is already in relationship. I don’t remember the time when I cried last but today, it feels so much.

I went to my apartment called Vicky and asked him to come soon. He was here within hours.

“Dude?” he came and sat beside me.

“She, Pia… has a boyfriend, macha,” I said trying to smile.

“What?  What’s his name?”

“That Joyson,”

“Who? That jerk who ran when you broke his nose?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Don’t worry macha,” he said. We both didn’t talk much. We both sat silent but then Vicky jumped from bed and said, Dude, you have the other two phone number that I took from his mobile?”

“Yes, I saved it... but why?”

“Give it no!” he asked and I gave him my phone. He rang Soni first and recorded that.

“Hello!” Vicky said.

“Ya hello,”

“Hey Moni.. We are calling from MTV and this is a show called Love-Pani-Puri-Bhaiya!” Vicky was getting me into another trouble.

“Love.. what?” she asked.

“Never mind... Are you in Relationship with any one?” Vicky asked and he heard her for few minutes and later he hung up.

“What did she say?” I asked.

“She says she is in relationship with another girl… Ah just another Lesbo… we call Jaanu now..” he repeated the same thing and hung up little later.

“Dude, you have a chance.” Vicky said.

“what?”

“Jannu. R is not a person’s real name. Her name is Radha and she is relationship with a guy.”

“And how does that help me?” I asked.

“She is in relationship with Mr. Half nose broken Joyson Benjamin!”

Now my next task was to make Pia listen to the conversation of Vicky and Radha recorded in my mobile. I went to her apartment with my new friend.

“What do you want?” I didn’t say much and played the recorded thing. She was horrified listening to all this.

“It’s not true.” She said and her eyes were now filled with tears.

“I know you won’t believe that’s…” I turned to my left and called out “RADHA,”. Radha came and told her everything. Both of them cried. They were cheated.

After that I didn’t talk to her. She might think I am taking advantage of her. Later I decided to go to her place. I was standing outside, pressing the calling bell so many times but no response came. I decided to break in. I pushed the door twice with my body and the third time the door opened. I saw her lying unconscious and a bottle of sleeping pills near her.

“PIAAAA” I cried.

Now, back to Chennai:

“Do you have a name for her?”

“Suzanne!”

The nurse took my baby from me and asked me to come and see both my baby and my wife in room no. 477 after one hour. I was there before an hour and waited for doctor to let me in.  My marriage was a love marriage. Immense Love. I went inside and saw my wife and little princess lying at her side.

“I am a proud father,” I said looking at my life alias my wife.

“She looks like you!” She said.

“No, look at her eyes. Its like yours and lips also…” I said. My wife smiled. Doctor came inside and said, “So writer sir, happy?”

“Yes,” I said.

“And you another writer.. Pia Desai… are you happy?”

Yes, I saved her and after so much of struggle, now she is mine and just now gifted me another beauty, Suzanne Sebastian. And ya my close friend Vicky is also married, well to a women 10 years older than him. He is fascinated by older women!

Happy Love friends,

Seba!